( behind his hands, xie lian's mouth opens and stays open, soundless. he tries to place if xiao hua ever acted this way and then realizes maybe, but he had chalked that up to feline behavior. and anyway, xiao hua is hua cheng is san lang is...well. he bites his lip as he feels the path hua cheng makes, all too easily overwhelmed with the warmth that comes of it. yet not even that can fully distract him from what he's rather embarrassed he didn't realize before.
but you're a cat, he thinks feebly and knows he is just trying to console himself as his eyes catch on everything he can see before he closes them tightly again, fingers closing.
this, however, is a mistake. it heightens every single thing hua cheng does from the kiss he can only half feel through his robe and half skin to skin, to the weight of his body on him, a comforting strength accented by the teasing trail of kisses he gives him. his heart beats a little too fast, temperature from feverish to burning as he feels that gentle lap. )
San Lang... ( his tone is halfway pleading halfway exasperated and still somehow entirely fond, embarrassingly fond, as if he can respond and return hua cheng's words to him tenfold in feeling alone and perhaps he can: through their bond comes another relentless cascade of affection, because hua cheng says he belongs to him but the reverse is also true. master and familiar, one of the oldest bonds and the strongest.
with a deep, shuddering breath, xie lian finally lowers his hands and opens his eyes, this time reaching the shorter distance down to cup either side of hua cheng's face, thumbing along the sharp of his cheeks. )
First of all, it is morning. ( technically. like very early hours. ) Second, you don't have to worry about it we do need to get you some, especially if you'll be coming with me like this from now on, right? ( he sighs, but he's smiling. then he pets back through hua cheng's hair where the braid has already unraveled. ) And thirdly,
I belong to you too.
( and the flush that only just started to ease, flares up again but this time xie lian doesn't look away, instead continuing to pet hua cheng very much as he would have xiao hua. while he does so, ruoye takes the silent direction and slithers up into the air to head over and somehow grab one of xie lian's spare robes. it's also white, and certainly it won't fit hua cheng "correctly" but it is something, which is all xie lian was really trying for for tonight anyway.
ruoye though, displeased by the division of master's attention, takes this moment to unceremoniously drop said robe. it intends to drop it on hua cheng's head only, obscuring him from xie lian however briefly, but it ends up canopying over both of them like a strange white veil. )
[ hua cheng is nearly overwhelmed by that sudden wave of adoring affection, taken aback by it. his confusion shows through his blinking eyes and, a beat later, it transforms into the sweetest, warmest beam. he's teasing him, maybe even acting spoiled , and yet xie lian likes him this much. it's enough to make his heart flutter, his breathing trembling because of it. he never thought it'd be possible for his master to like him, nevermind this much.
he looks indeed like a pleased cat when his face is cradled, eyes softer than ever meeting xie lian's. i adore you, his bond whispers to every inch of xie lian's body and soul. he unwittingly tilts his head into the touch of a thumb, nearly purring.
he chuckles quietly: well, he supposes it is morning indeed. he nods at the second point, sighing softly because he expects the third one will be about how he needs to start getting dressed now. instead those words are so much different and hua cheng freezes.
for a long moment, all he can hear is a buzzing noise in his ears, while warmth creeps through him in ways he's gotten unfamiliar with. he replays in his mind the shape of xie lian's perfect mouth as it molded around the words, the echo of his voice as soft as a caress. he can't be mistaken... he really did say he belongs to hua cheng, didn't he?
the moment of stillness lasts a bit longer as that robe drapes on their heads from who knows where, hua cheng so out of it he didn't even notice ruoye. their hot breaths mingle under that fabric, like their gazes that are glued together, and their souls that are entwined.
many wizards through history found their familiars simply tools or, at best, pets. a pleasant, handy company. but xie lian right now told him he considers them equals; that the room in hua cheng's heart that belongs to xie lian has a twin one in his master's own for him. xie lian has just told he's hua cheng's.
like a downpour, rain crashing down at once, the realization hits hua cheng and takes his breath away, pushing him to act impulsively again. his movement is smooth like a cat's as he gets on his knees, legs in between the other's, and he wraps both arms around xie lian's waist, sweeping him in his embrace and kissing him under that thin veil-like fabric. it's a breathtaking kiss, one that contains everything not even the intensity of their bond can communicate. it tells xie lian of how much he adores him and worships him, how much he means to him, how he cannot live without him. his breathing is harsh but his lips and tongue are sweet even in their boldness.
i'll love you and protect you forever, this kiss says through their connection, like a promise during the rite of marriage, that veil on their heads highlighting the holiness of their bond, that very much resembles the way humans tie one's fate with their loved one's. ]
(the overflow of their emotions in both directions makes everything both many times more pleasurable but also cloudy. xie lian's legs slip around his waist easily when he's pulled forward, his hands both tangling again in hua cheng's hair, still with a soothing undertone to how he touches and responds. dizziness from overstimulation and shortness of breath make his head spin but it's pleasant even so. the taste of hua cheng is almost a spell in and of itself, xie lian half sighing half moaning softly as the kiss deepens. forever resonates through their physical touch, a bond of two souls made concrete in the tangible world. again there is that tightening around his heart, around his every breath: no one lives only for themself or by themself, but it is different to find one's other half and know.
hua cheng could never just be a tool to be used or a shallow perception of a pet.
somehow, xie lian knows him and doesn't know why he thinks this, even before today. yet he is sure.
his next inhale is a slightly more desperate gasp, panting against the sharp line of hua cheng's jaw, indeed angling his face so when his eyes close his eyelashes brush against the skin there, feather light. )
San Lang...
( only his name, but it is also love, trust, and a dozen other ways to say i don't want to let you go. it would make him feel silly if he wasn't still reeling from the kiss and the influx of both of their feelings. getting control over them so there is not a constant rush of it any given second will take some time, but time they have. the faint tremble in xie lian's hand as he smooths through hua cheng's hair, despite it not needing it, is just the relieved confusion of joy, having quietly, quietly forgotten what that felt like. then again, xie lian counts himself, even with consciously relinquished fortune of any kind...lucky.
because he can recognize it, because he knows that butterfly lightness in his heart.
his worst days of recent were already always made better by xiao hua as xiao hua. how lucky, then, to receive even more? he wonders idly if the shackle is failing, and one hand unconsciously touches the one at his throat, knowing the answer. of course it wouldn't be any weaker no matter the outside force, not given who it was created by. but it is what he deserves and he knows that.
so all the more reason to be grateful for his familiar finding him.
the hand in hua cheng's hair comes to rest at his nape, curled there gently, like hua cheng is precious and the one to be protected. if xie lian's magic were free, it would have very possibly knocked them both out in its response to hua cheng's, but bound as it is, all xie lian has to offer does its best to wrap around him even so. his qi, his sentiment, the warmth of his body still flushed pink and red but having given up on the clothing point for now, preferring to just stay close for a moment longer after all. )
[ hua cheng leans their foreheads together, quick breaths mingling hot under that light fabric, his eyes still closed. he feels the ticklish caress of the other's eyelashes still and he smiles, enamored, as he nuzzles their noses together, similar to how he rubbed his face against xie lian's cheek in his cat form. you won't ever have to let me go, i'll stay with you always, is what he says quietly, words hidden in their exhales and traveling along the invisible thread of their connection.
he can feel how happy xie lian is and it is intoxicating. is he happy because of hua cheng? that's such a preposterous thought. but his familiar is content to be with him while he's happy, while he feels this peaceful and whole. their little bubble under that robe. he presses the softest of pecks on the other's cheekbone, before his hand goes to drag away the fabric from above their heads, cold oxygen enwrapping them.
those words spoken by xie lian are engraved on his heart, the strokes getting deeper every moment they spend together this close. can he really accept this? that xie lian belongs to him? that his master is giving himself to hua cheng? the notion makes him too happy, so much so that his body can't contain it, nor their connection, like water spilling from the top of a dam.
hua cheng pulls back and lets go, little distance between their frames, but enough for him to sit and slip that white robe on, like his master wanted. needless to say, it's small in all the ways, it's both too narrow and too short, but hua cheng pulls the two halves close together at the front. it shows much of his chest still, but at least it covers between his legs and a little further down his thighs. he can feel his heart itching: he's wearing his master's clothing. it makes him a little too excited.
hua cheng then gathers his hair and tugs it to the front. it's so long that even like that it pools past his hips. large hands pull xie lian closer and he tugs his legs so they rest on top of his thighs and stretch past them, so they can face each other still. ]
Can gege braid my hair again? So it won't get in the way while we sleep. [ he looks at him with adoring eyes. by the position he's put them in, it's obvious he doesn't want to turn his back to him even if that would make the hair styling easier. ] If gege doesn't like it, you can cut it too. [ he offers easily..]
( many of hua cheng's actions still read as xiao hua to xie lian, which is to say he responds in kind, unconsciously petting him more and even scratching behind his ear before he catches himself, blushing at his own behavior. but then he focuses on how hua cheng feels through their bond, and lets instinct take over; because he feels happy and it's like a curiously infinite loop: the better hua cheng feels, the better it makes xie lian feel. it somehow makes him want to hold him even closer, and he wonders for a moment if the bond of a magic user and their familiar includes telepathy when hua cheng draws him in like that.
the question about his hair catches him off guard, blinking owlishly for a second before he smiles at him, a smile so broad in fact that his eyes close briefly before he opens them again and reaches for the offered waterfall of hair. there really is so much of it, and it's beautiful. it also smells nice, to the point that he's inclined to press his face into it the way he would xiao hua's neck or back, breathing him in, but in this case he stops himself before he can do it, clearing his throat distractedly as he begins to comb his tapered fingers through the lengths of it. it's a methodical, patient practice xie lian wouldn't and doesn't spend on his own hair, but xiao hua has elicited a desire to sort of pamper him ever since finding xie lian. hua cheng inspires the same.
as he works out any stray tangles or would-be snags with utmost gentleness, the sense hua cheng will get from him is one of soothing and gratitude. love is its overarching core, but these particulars shine too. because yes, he is happy because of hua cheng, and the only confusion there is that not only had xie lian almost forgotten what it felt like but also had failed to notice that he had nearly forgotten in the first place. )
I would only cut your hair if you wanted it to be cut, San Lang.
( this he says as he begins braiding it, a thick braid due to the constitution of hua cheng's hair, and he keeps the plaits soft so that they don't pull on his scalp or hang uncomfortably higher or lower. it rests perfectly against his neck and shoulder, and here and there xie lian pauses to fluff it a little even though it doesn't need it; he just thinks it's cute. his gaze flickers to e'ming briefly and a thought occurs to him. he reaches for one of hua cheng's hands and places it around where he's in the middle of braiding. )
Hold it for me for a moment, please!
( then he climbs off of hua cheng (feeling the pang of discomfort for the separation but it's like their bodies can tell he's coming right back, it doesn't hurt as much as the recoil before), and more so falls off of the bed than anything, but it's xie lian so he just keeps moving! to the other side of the room where there's a small side table of random things and though his back is to him briefly, hua cheng will hear a soft 'ah!' before xie lian hurries back, obviously so involved with his task of his hair that basically climbing back into his lap, legs on either side of him again to let them be close, doesn't make him turn redder than the flowers in his hands.
he holds one up, so close that it probably makes hua cheng a bit crosseyed. )
They'll look nice in San Lang's hair.
( for all his bad luck, there are still some good things that happen: for example, stumbling on a field of wild flowers in his travels gathering other people's discards and rejects. he sets to work artfully working the flowers in along the remaining plaits, several red, one white. and hua cheng may feel it: a twinge of something sad, a bone deep ache that quickly gets suppressed. who taught him how to do this? it must have been mu qing, who would braid them into xie lian's hair, though perhaps feng xin had a hand in it too, never holding back on his criticisms of the other. vaguely he recalls flowers in his mother's hair too. and then he tucks those thoughts quietly, deeply away, tying off the end of hua cheng's hair with a simple undyed twine.
he doesn't move away but he sits back a little to survey his work and the look on his face is almost as young as people would believe him to be.
oh...that's not bad, he thinks, a little surprised at himself. it's been so long since he cared about appearance. granted, hua cheng would look good no matter the style of his hair, but there's a tentative almost unnoticeable ripple of relief in xie lian's heart. yes, he didn't do a bad job at all. )
[ there's much of xiao hua in many of hua cheng's mannerism. after all, he was born xiao hua and has become more through painstaking effort, that nature lingering at the bottom of him and in his instinctive reactions. that's why he enjoys the petting, especially behind his ears, as much as he used to, and also why he tilts his head curiously, just like a feline, while he tries and read xie lian through their connection, the shadow of a smile playing on his lips.
he can sense the other's content, placid feelings and he basks into them happily, in turn feeding their bond through that infinite loop. the way the older smiles so openly at his question leaves him surprised, blinking at him like one would be in the sun, trying to get used to all that unrestrained, beautiful light: that's xie lian's smile, even prettier than sunbeams. it makes hua cheng's heart skip a beat and he shyly looks away, because he feels too happy, nearly giddy and it's so foreign. warmth reaches his every nerve ending and floods him, leaving him breathless.
how can someone as beautiful as xie lian exist? and how can someone as unworthy as hua cheng be allowed to witness such a gorgeous smile from him? he can't allow himself to think that maybe that smile was caused by himself, or else he'll combust.
hua cheng plays with his fingers and the fabric of xie lian's robe while the other untangles his hair, glancing at him every now and then, like a shy child. they're so close his scent is stark and so his warmth. his fingers make him scalp tingle even if they're working along the length of his locks. hua cheng has never been so nervous, an innocent, anticipating type of nervousness.
he looks a little curious again when he feels gratitude coming from xie lian and he tries and scan his face for answers, but then the other talks and he forgets all about it. ]
I don't care about my hair... I want to keep it the way gege likes it. [ he confesses softly. by how overjoyed xie lian is to style it, he seems to have an answer on whether or not he should cut it.
he's confused when he's made to hold his hair and he almost stops doing it when the other scrambles off the bed. hua cheng's eyes widen and he nearly reaches out to pick him up from the floor, just to see his indestructible gege rush off to the nightstand again. it makes hua cheng laugh softly. his master is truly an unstoppable force.
he's quite curious about what had him so excited and his mismatched eyes do get crossed while trying to put into focus what xie lian is showing him so close. a flower? yes, his master used to love flowers as much as artifacts, he remembers that. but... how could pretty flowers suit him? hua cheng hunches a little in his shoulders, insecure. ]
Gege... won't those flowers be wasted on someone like me? [ he asks quietly. they would fit a beauty like xie lian without any effort. but not him.
his concerns fizzle away, though, in the face of xie lian's sudden sadness. hua cheng feels the deep sorrow, enough to shatter his breath in two and have his heart crumble. it's such pain, such longing, all at once. it hurts so much. it's sadness for things and people lost, one hua cheng never personally felt, because nobody besides his master ever dared getting close enough to him. but the familiar knows sorrow in and out. he hopes that, through their connection, that pain will weigh a little less on xie lian's shoulders.
large hands rub soothingly at the other's knees and up along his thighs, quietly saying, i am here, you are not alone anymore, i am with you. ]
...do I look okay? [ he asks, quiet and conscious, when xie lian has finished his work and pulls back just enough to look at it. hua cheng chances a peek at the older, before looking down again. he takes his hands now and kisses the knuckles of both: those holy, skilled hands.
he infuses his power into the flowers, fixing any possible crease or broken petal, making them bloom at the best of their abilities, color brighter. he can only hope he looks decent enough for his master to want to lay eyes on him. ]
Thank you, gege. [ he smiles shyly, nearly childlike, before he fills the distance between them to press a chaste kiss to the corner of his mouth. ]
( the recoil from hua cheng feeling xie lian's sadness is new and distinct. it compels xie lian to bury that sadness deeper, to somehow be more mindful even on a subconscious level to not let any discomfort or unhappiness through, lest he hurt him. mostly, this is not too difficult, xie lian having made the stalwart decision to try to focus on that which is good: enough food to eat, a day without bizarrely terrible mishaps, a companion who thanks him even if he doesn't need to. so when xie lian smiles at him, it is soft and sincere, reaching out to frame his face with both hands even as hua cheng kisses him and murmuring, )
It suits you perfectly, San Lang. You make them look better.
( and, not just through their bond but through his behavior, xie lian notes a kind of shyness in his familiar, even as he watches with calm admiration as the flowers seem to revive brighter and softer than they were even originally. he doesn't know why his familiar emanates this shyness and a sort of sense of unworthiness, but it feels intrusive to ask, so he just lets one hand slide from his face to curl reassuringly on his shoulder, the other going to pet again behind his ear: you're good, don't worry, you're good. all the while, he relaxes a little even in hua cheng's lap as he is, the weight of his hands a curious comfort xie lian feels foreign to. maybe he is too reassured, because a dizzy spell sweeps through him, this one softer than the one that had flooded him on the surge of hua cheng's magic. he blinks slowly before gently resting his fore head to hua cheng's shoulder, soft breaths warm and a little shallow against the bare skin.
it's not like he's uneducated in the terms of familiars and how they work, the many ways. but it has been a long time since he thought about it at all, much less the broad spectrum of manners in which these bonds can manifest and develop upon meeting. some of it is the residual and stark contrast of going from nearly no magic, to much too much, to something idling closer to the former again yet buzzing with the latter. )
Sorry...San Lang...
( he means to say that he just needs a moment, but he ends up just focusing on breathing, the hand on hua cheng's shoulder sliding down and curling affectionately around his braid, mindful of the flowers. and he has the thought again, perplexing: how familiar hua cheng feels. his presence. his voice. his scent. the still lingering taste of him that cannot be chalked up to solely a matter of being his familiar. like he's met him before, too long ago to remember.
even with the odd wave of tiredness, xie lian's whole emotional demeanor inside and out is calm, disciplinedly so. all he wants hua cheng to feel is that he is cared for and accepted. he genuinely feels other people will love him too, given the chance, but starting with xie lian himself is something. )
[ xie lian has indeed met him before, both as a cat and as more than that. hua cheng had already gathered enough power to serve him as a human youth, back in the day. it'd been centuries before and he made sure he kept his face hidden, especially his eye of misfortune, and so there's no blaming xie lian for not recognizing him. if anything, the notion that he feels familiar to his master, the feeling lingering like a puzzling mystery in their bond, overjoys him. that he left an impression at all, how lucky.
xie lian's sudden dizziness, though, can't help worrying him, his whole mind clearing of any thought. the initial wave of magic must've been hard to bear through: is this sudden feeling of sickness related to that, or is it because the other is once again devoid of it, now that it's swum back to hua cheng?
either way, it is entirely his fault and hua cheng sighs deeply, a frown in place. he hugs him gently to his chest, ignoring the feigning of calm. he can look past appearances and that's a gift, because xie lian is sadly too apt at hiding pain and discomfort: hua cheng would never notice them, if they didn't have this thread connecting their souls.
cradled that smaller frame in his arms, hua cheng lays down, on his side, carrying him with him. he adjusts the pillow underneath him with his nose and by dragging the corner with his teeth, like he would've done as a cat, as he keeps hugging him protectively. one hand leaves him for barely a moment just to tug the covers on top of them, fixing them especially on the older. he kisses his forehead and the bridge of his nose and his bangs. ]
Gege, I'm here with you. There's no need to pretend. [ he whispers, tone soft and warm. if only xie lian could trust him with everything he is and everything he feels. he doesn't want to be shielded from the real him. ]
Whatever you need, I can give it to you. [ he can look after him, treat him, protect him. that's what he's gathered so much power for; the sole, entire reason. ] You can rest. There's nothing to worry about. [ he mumbles in his ear, deep voice full and soft, just like those caresses that are being rubbed in his narrow back. ]
Once the sun is up, I'll still be here with you. You won't wake up alone ever again. [ it's like a lullaby, trying to soothe xie lian enough for sleep. hua cheng technically doesn't need it and so he'll watch over him.
hopefully the other's frame will be able to get used to the fluctuations of power come morning. he doesn't want to make xie lian sick anymore. ]
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no subject
but you're a cat, he thinks feebly and knows he is just trying to console himself as his eyes catch on everything he can see before he closes them tightly again, fingers closing.
this, however, is a mistake. it heightens every single thing hua cheng does from the kiss he can only half feel through his robe and half skin to skin, to the weight of his body on him, a comforting strength accented by the teasing trail of kisses he gives him. his heart beats a little too fast, temperature from feverish to burning as he feels that gentle lap. )
San Lang... ( his tone is halfway pleading halfway exasperated and still somehow entirely fond, embarrassingly fond, as if he can respond and return hua cheng's words to him tenfold in feeling alone and perhaps he can: through their bond comes another relentless cascade of affection, because hua cheng says he belongs to him but the reverse is also true. master and familiar, one of the oldest bonds and the strongest.
with a deep, shuddering breath, xie lian finally lowers his hands and opens his eyes, this time reaching the shorter distance down to cup either side of hua cheng's face, thumbing along the sharp of his cheeks. )
First of all, it is morning. ( technically. like very early hours. ) Second, you don't have to worry about it we do need to get you some, especially if you'll be coming with me like this from now on, right? ( he sighs, but he's smiling. then he pets back through hua cheng's hair where the braid has already unraveled. ) And thirdly,
I belong to you too.
( and the flush that only just started to ease, flares up again but this time xie lian doesn't look away, instead continuing to pet hua cheng very much as he would have xiao hua. while he does so, ruoye takes the silent direction and slithers up into the air to head over and somehow grab one of xie lian's spare robes. it's also white, and certainly it won't fit hua cheng "correctly" but it is something, which is all xie lian was really trying for for tonight anyway.
ruoye though, displeased by the division of master's attention, takes this moment to unceremoniously drop said robe. it intends to drop it on hua cheng's head only, obscuring him from xie lian however briefly, but it ends up canopying over both of them like a strange white veil. )
no subject
he looks indeed like a pleased cat when his face is cradled, eyes softer than ever meeting xie lian's. i adore you, his bond whispers to every inch of xie lian's body and soul. he unwittingly tilts his head into the touch of a thumb, nearly purring.
he chuckles quietly: well, he supposes it is morning indeed. he nods at the second point, sighing softly because he expects the third one will be about how he needs to start getting dressed now. instead those words are so much different and hua cheng freezes.
for a long moment, all he can hear is a buzzing noise in his ears, while warmth creeps through him in ways he's gotten unfamiliar with. he replays in his mind the shape of xie lian's perfect mouth as it molded around the words, the echo of his voice as soft as a caress. he can't be mistaken... he really did say he belongs to hua cheng, didn't he?
the moment of stillness lasts a bit longer as that robe drapes on their heads from who knows where, hua cheng so out of it he didn't even notice ruoye. their hot breaths mingle under that fabric, like their gazes that are glued together, and their souls that are entwined.
many wizards through history found their familiars simply tools or, at best, pets. a pleasant, handy company. but xie lian right now told him he considers them equals; that the room in hua cheng's heart that belongs to xie lian has a twin one in his master's own for him. xie lian has just told he's hua cheng's.
like a downpour, rain crashing down at once, the realization hits hua cheng and takes his breath away, pushing him to act impulsively again. his movement is smooth like a cat's as he gets on his knees, legs in between the other's, and he wraps both arms around xie lian's waist, sweeping him in his embrace and kissing him under that thin veil-like fabric. it's a breathtaking kiss, one that contains everything not even the intensity of their bond can communicate. it tells xie lian of how much he adores him and worships him, how much he means to him, how he cannot live without him. his breathing is harsh but his lips and tongue are sweet even in their boldness.
i'll love you and protect you forever, this kiss says through their connection, like a promise during the rite of marriage, that veil on their heads highlighting the holiness of their bond, that very much resembles the way humans tie one's fate with their loved one's. ]
no subject
hua cheng could never just be a tool to be used or a shallow perception of a pet.
somehow, xie lian knows him and doesn't know why he thinks this, even before today. yet he is sure.
his next inhale is a slightly more desperate gasp, panting against the sharp line of hua cheng's jaw, indeed angling his face so when his eyes close his eyelashes brush against the skin there, feather light. )
San Lang...
( only his name, but it is also love, trust, and a dozen other ways to say i don't want to let you go. it would make him feel silly if he wasn't still reeling from the kiss and the influx of both of their feelings. getting control over them so there is not a constant rush of it any given second will take some time, but time they have. the faint tremble in xie lian's hand as he smooths through hua cheng's hair, despite it not needing it, is just the relieved confusion of joy, having quietly, quietly forgotten what that felt like. then again, xie lian counts himself, even with consciously relinquished fortune of any kind...lucky.
because he can recognize it, because he knows that butterfly lightness in his heart.
his worst days of recent were already always made better by xiao hua as xiao hua. how lucky, then, to receive even more? he wonders idly if the shackle is failing, and one hand unconsciously touches the one at his throat, knowing the answer. of course it wouldn't be any weaker no matter the outside force, not given who it was created by. but it is what he deserves and he knows that.
so all the more reason to be grateful for his familiar finding him.
the hand in hua cheng's hair comes to rest at his nape, curled there gently, like hua cheng is precious and the one to be protected. if xie lian's magic were free, it would have very possibly knocked them both out in its response to hua cheng's, but bound as it is, all xie lian has to offer does its best to wrap around him even so. his qi, his sentiment, the warmth of his body still flushed pink and red but having given up on the clothing point for now, preferring to just stay close for a moment longer after all. )
no subject
he can feel how happy xie lian is and it is intoxicating. is he happy because of hua cheng? that's such a preposterous thought. but his familiar is content to be with him while he's happy, while he feels this peaceful and whole. their little bubble under that robe. he presses the softest of pecks on the other's cheekbone, before his hand goes to drag away the fabric from above their heads, cold oxygen enwrapping them.
those words spoken by xie lian are engraved on his heart, the strokes getting deeper every moment they spend together this close. can he really accept this? that xie lian belongs to him? that his master is giving himself to hua cheng? the notion makes him too happy, so much so that his body can't contain it, nor their connection, like water spilling from the top of a dam.
hua cheng pulls back and lets go, little distance between their frames, but enough for him to sit and slip that white robe on, like his master wanted. needless to say, it's small in all the ways, it's both too narrow and too short, but hua cheng pulls the two halves close together at the front. it shows much of his chest still, but at least it covers between his legs and a little further down his thighs. he can feel his heart itching: he's wearing his master's clothing. it makes him a little too excited.
hua cheng then gathers his hair and tugs it to the front. it's so long that even like that it pools past his hips. large hands pull xie lian closer and he tugs his legs so they rest on top of his thighs and stretch past them, so they can face each other still. ]
Can gege braid my hair again? So it won't get in the way while we sleep. [ he looks at him with adoring eyes. by the position he's put them in, it's obvious he doesn't want to turn his back to him even if that would make the hair styling easier. ] If gege doesn't like it, you can cut it too. [ he offers easily..]
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the question about his hair catches him off guard, blinking owlishly for a second before he smiles at him, a smile so broad in fact that his eyes close briefly before he opens them again and reaches for the offered waterfall of hair. there really is so much of it, and it's beautiful. it also smells nice, to the point that he's inclined to press his face into it the way he would xiao hua's neck or back, breathing him in, but in this case he stops himself before he can do it, clearing his throat distractedly as he begins to comb his tapered fingers through the lengths of it. it's a methodical, patient practice xie lian wouldn't and doesn't spend on his own hair, but xiao hua has elicited a desire to sort of pamper him ever since finding xie lian. hua cheng inspires the same.
as he works out any stray tangles or would-be snags with utmost gentleness, the sense hua cheng will get from him is one of soothing and gratitude. love is its overarching core, but these particulars shine too. because yes, he is happy because of hua cheng, and the only confusion there is that not only had xie lian almost forgotten what it felt like but also had failed to notice that he had nearly forgotten in the first place. )
I would only cut your hair if you wanted it to be cut, San Lang.
( this he says as he begins braiding it, a thick braid due to the constitution of hua cheng's hair, and he keeps the plaits soft so that they don't pull on his scalp or hang uncomfortably higher or lower. it rests perfectly against his neck and shoulder, and here and there xie lian pauses to fluff it a little even though it doesn't need it; he just thinks it's cute. his gaze flickers to e'ming briefly and a thought occurs to him. he reaches for one of hua cheng's hands and places it around where he's in the middle of braiding. )
Hold it for me for a moment, please!
( then he climbs off of hua cheng (feeling the pang of discomfort for the separation but it's like their bodies can tell he's coming right back, it doesn't hurt as much as the recoil before), and more so falls off of the bed than anything, but it's xie lian so he just keeps moving! to the other side of the room where there's a small side table of random things and though his back is to him briefly, hua cheng will hear a soft 'ah!' before xie lian hurries back, obviously so involved with his task of his hair that basically climbing back into his lap, legs on either side of him again to let them be close, doesn't make him turn redder than the flowers in his hands.
he holds one up, so close that it probably makes hua cheng a bit crosseyed. )
They'll look nice in San Lang's hair.
( for all his bad luck, there are still some good things that happen: for example, stumbling on a field of wild flowers in his travels gathering other people's discards and rejects. he sets to work artfully working the flowers in along the remaining plaits, several red, one white. and hua cheng may feel it: a twinge of something sad, a bone deep ache that quickly gets suppressed. who taught him how to do this? it must have been mu qing, who would braid them into xie lian's hair, though perhaps feng xin had a hand in it too, never holding back on his criticisms of the other. vaguely he recalls flowers in his mother's hair too. and then he tucks those thoughts quietly, deeply away, tying off the end of hua cheng's hair with a simple undyed twine.
he doesn't move away but he sits back a little to survey his work and the look on his face is almost as young as people would believe him to be.
oh...that's not bad, he thinks, a little surprised at himself. it's been so long since he cared about appearance. granted, hua cheng would look good no matter the style of his hair, but there's a tentative almost unnoticeable ripple of relief in xie lian's heart. yes, he didn't do a bad job at all. )
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he can sense the other's content, placid feelings and he basks into them happily, in turn feeding their bond through that infinite loop. the way the older smiles so openly at his question leaves him surprised, blinking at him like one would be in the sun, trying to get used to all that unrestrained, beautiful light: that's xie lian's smile, even prettier than sunbeams. it makes hua cheng's heart skip a beat and he shyly looks away, because he feels too happy, nearly giddy and it's so foreign. warmth reaches his every nerve ending and floods him, leaving him breathless.
how can someone as beautiful as xie lian exist? and how can someone as unworthy as hua cheng be allowed to witness such a gorgeous smile from him? he can't allow himself to think that maybe that smile was caused by himself, or else he'll combust.
hua cheng plays with his fingers and the fabric of xie lian's robe while the other untangles his hair, glancing at him every now and then, like a shy child. they're so close his scent is stark and so his warmth. his fingers make him scalp tingle even if they're working along the length of his locks. hua cheng has never been so nervous, an innocent, anticipating type of nervousness.
he looks a little curious again when he feels gratitude coming from xie lian and he tries and scan his face for answers, but then the other talks and he forgets all about it. ]
I don't care about my hair... I want to keep it the way gege likes it. [ he confesses softly. by how overjoyed xie lian is to style it, he seems to have an answer on whether or not he should cut it.
he's confused when he's made to hold his hair and he almost stops doing it when the other scrambles off the bed. hua cheng's eyes widen and he nearly reaches out to pick him up from the floor, just to see his indestructible gege rush off to the nightstand again. it makes hua cheng laugh softly. his master is truly an unstoppable force.
he's quite curious about what had him so excited and his mismatched eyes do get crossed while trying to put into focus what xie lian is showing him so close. a flower? yes, his master used to love flowers as much as artifacts, he remembers that. but... how could pretty flowers suit him? hua cheng hunches a little in his shoulders, insecure. ]
Gege... won't those flowers be wasted on someone like me? [ he asks quietly. they would fit a beauty like xie lian without any effort. but not him.
his concerns fizzle away, though, in the face of xie lian's sudden sadness. hua cheng feels the deep sorrow, enough to shatter his breath in two and have his heart crumble. it's such pain, such longing, all at once. it hurts so much. it's sadness for things and people lost, one hua cheng never personally felt, because nobody besides his master ever dared getting close enough to him. but the familiar knows sorrow in and out. he hopes that, through their connection, that pain will weigh a little less on xie lian's shoulders.
large hands rub soothingly at the other's knees and up along his thighs, quietly saying, i am here, you are not alone anymore, i am with you. ]
...do I look okay? [ he asks, quiet and conscious, when xie lian has finished his work and pulls back just enough to look at it. hua cheng chances a peek at the older, before looking down again. he takes his hands now and kisses the knuckles of both: those holy, skilled hands.
he infuses his power into the flowers, fixing any possible crease or broken petal, making them bloom at the best of their abilities, color brighter. he can only hope he looks decent enough for his master to want to lay eyes on him. ]
Thank you, gege. [ he smiles shyly, nearly childlike, before he fills the distance between them to press a chaste kiss to the corner of his mouth. ]
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It suits you perfectly, San Lang. You make them look better.
( and, not just through their bond but through his behavior, xie lian notes a kind of shyness in his familiar, even as he watches with calm admiration as the flowers seem to revive brighter and softer than they were even originally. he doesn't know why his familiar emanates this shyness and a sort of sense of unworthiness, but it feels intrusive to ask, so he just lets one hand slide from his face to curl reassuringly on his shoulder, the other going to pet again behind his ear: you're good, don't worry, you're good. all the while, he relaxes a little even in hua cheng's lap as he is, the weight of his hands a curious comfort xie lian feels foreign to. maybe he is too reassured, because a dizzy spell sweeps through him, this one softer than the one that had flooded him on the surge of hua cheng's magic. he blinks slowly before gently resting his fore head to hua cheng's shoulder, soft breaths warm and a little shallow against the bare skin.
it's not like he's uneducated in the terms of familiars and how they work, the many ways. but it has been a long time since he thought about it at all, much less the broad spectrum of manners in which these bonds can manifest and develop upon meeting. some of it is the residual and stark contrast of going from nearly no magic, to much too much, to something idling closer to the former again yet buzzing with the latter. )
Sorry...San Lang...
( he means to say that he just needs a moment, but he ends up just focusing on breathing, the hand on hua cheng's shoulder sliding down and curling affectionately around his braid, mindful of the flowers. and he has the thought again, perplexing: how familiar hua cheng feels. his presence. his voice. his scent. the still lingering taste of him that cannot be chalked up to solely a matter of being his familiar. like he's met him before, too long ago to remember.
even with the odd wave of tiredness, xie lian's whole emotional demeanor inside and out is calm, disciplinedly so. all he wants hua cheng to feel is that he is cared for and accepted. he genuinely feels other people will love him too, given the chance, but starting with xie lian himself is something. )
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xie lian's sudden dizziness, though, can't help worrying him, his whole mind clearing of any thought. the initial wave of magic must've been hard to bear through: is this sudden feeling of sickness related to that, or is it because the other is once again devoid of it, now that it's swum back to hua cheng?
either way, it is entirely his fault and hua cheng sighs deeply, a frown in place. he hugs him gently to his chest, ignoring the feigning of calm. he can look past appearances and that's a gift, because xie lian is sadly too apt at hiding pain and discomfort: hua cheng would never notice them, if they didn't have this thread connecting their souls.
cradled that smaller frame in his arms, hua cheng lays down, on his side, carrying him with him. he adjusts the pillow underneath him with his nose and by dragging the corner with his teeth, like he would've done as a cat, as he keeps hugging him protectively. one hand leaves him for barely a moment just to tug the covers on top of them, fixing them especially on the older. he kisses his forehead and the bridge of his nose and his bangs. ]
Gege, I'm here with you. There's no need to pretend. [ he whispers, tone soft and warm. if only xie lian could trust him with everything he is and everything he feels. he doesn't want to be shielded from the real him. ]
Whatever you need, I can give it to you. [ he can look after him, treat him, protect him. that's what he's gathered so much power for; the sole, entire reason. ] You can rest. There's nothing to worry about. [ he mumbles in his ear, deep voice full and soft, just like those caresses that are being rubbed in his narrow back. ]
Once the sun is up, I'll still be here with you. You won't wake up alone ever again. [ it's like a lullaby, trying to soothe xie lian enough for sleep. hua cheng technically doesn't need it and so he'll watch over him.
hopefully the other's frame will be able to get used to the fluctuations of power come morning. he doesn't want to make xie lian sick anymore. ]