( the recoil from hua cheng feeling xie lian's sadness is new and distinct. it compels xie lian to bury that sadness deeper, to somehow be more mindful even on a subconscious level to not let any discomfort or unhappiness through, lest he hurt him. mostly, this is not too difficult, xie lian having made the stalwart decision to try to focus on that which is good: enough food to eat, a day without bizarrely terrible mishaps, a companion who thanks him even if he doesn't need to. so when xie lian smiles at him, it is soft and sincere, reaching out to frame his face with both hands even as hua cheng kisses him and murmuring, )
It suits you perfectly, San Lang. You make them look better.
( and, not just through their bond but through his behavior, xie lian notes a kind of shyness in his familiar, even as he watches with calm admiration as the flowers seem to revive brighter and softer than they were even originally. he doesn't know why his familiar emanates this shyness and a sort of sense of unworthiness, but it feels intrusive to ask, so he just lets one hand slide from his face to curl reassuringly on his shoulder, the other going to pet again behind his ear: you're good, don't worry, you're good. all the while, he relaxes a little even in hua cheng's lap as he is, the weight of his hands a curious comfort xie lian feels foreign to. maybe he is too reassured, because a dizzy spell sweeps through him, this one softer than the one that had flooded him on the surge of hua cheng's magic. he blinks slowly before gently resting his fore head to hua cheng's shoulder, soft breaths warm and a little shallow against the bare skin.
it's not like he's uneducated in the terms of familiars and how they work, the many ways. but it has been a long time since he thought about it at all, much less the broad spectrum of manners in which these bonds can manifest and develop upon meeting. some of it is the residual and stark contrast of going from nearly no magic, to much too much, to something idling closer to the former again yet buzzing with the latter. )
Sorry...San Lang...
( he means to say that he just needs a moment, but he ends up just focusing on breathing, the hand on hua cheng's shoulder sliding down and curling affectionately around his braid, mindful of the flowers. and he has the thought again, perplexing: how familiar hua cheng feels. his presence. his voice. his scent. the still lingering taste of him that cannot be chalked up to solely a matter of being his familiar. like he's met him before, too long ago to remember.
even with the odd wave of tiredness, xie lian's whole emotional demeanor inside and out is calm, disciplinedly so. all he wants hua cheng to feel is that he is cared for and accepted. he genuinely feels other people will love him too, given the chance, but starting with xie lian himself is something. )
[ xie lian has indeed met him before, both as a cat and as more than that. hua cheng had already gathered enough power to serve him as a human youth, back in the day. it'd been centuries before and he made sure he kept his face hidden, especially his eye of misfortune, and so there's no blaming xie lian for not recognizing him. if anything, the notion that he feels familiar to his master, the feeling lingering like a puzzling mystery in their bond, overjoys him. that he left an impression at all, how lucky.
xie lian's sudden dizziness, though, can't help worrying him, his whole mind clearing of any thought. the initial wave of magic must've been hard to bear through: is this sudden feeling of sickness related to that, or is it because the other is once again devoid of it, now that it's swum back to hua cheng?
either way, it is entirely his fault and hua cheng sighs deeply, a frown in place. he hugs him gently to his chest, ignoring the feigning of calm. he can look past appearances and that's a gift, because xie lian is sadly too apt at hiding pain and discomfort: hua cheng would never notice them, if they didn't have this thread connecting their souls.
cradled that smaller frame in his arms, hua cheng lays down, on his side, carrying him with him. he adjusts the pillow underneath him with his nose and by dragging the corner with his teeth, like he would've done as a cat, as he keeps hugging him protectively. one hand leaves him for barely a moment just to tug the covers on top of them, fixing them especially on the older. he kisses his forehead and the bridge of his nose and his bangs. ]
Gege, I'm here with you. There's no need to pretend. [ he whispers, tone soft and warm. if only xie lian could trust him with everything he is and everything he feels. he doesn't want to be shielded from the real him. ]
Whatever you need, I can give it to you. [ he can look after him, treat him, protect him. that's what he's gathered so much power for; the sole, entire reason. ] You can rest. There's nothing to worry about. [ he mumbles in his ear, deep voice full and soft, just like those caresses that are being rubbed in his narrow back. ]
Once the sun is up, I'll still be here with you. You won't wake up alone ever again. [ it's like a lullaby, trying to soothe xie lian enough for sleep. hua cheng technically doesn't need it and so he'll watch over him.
hopefully the other's frame will be able to get used to the fluctuations of power come morning. he doesn't want to make xie lian sick anymore. ]
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It suits you perfectly, San Lang. You make them look better.
( and, not just through their bond but through his behavior, xie lian notes a kind of shyness in his familiar, even as he watches with calm admiration as the flowers seem to revive brighter and softer than they were even originally. he doesn't know why his familiar emanates this shyness and a sort of sense of unworthiness, but it feels intrusive to ask, so he just lets one hand slide from his face to curl reassuringly on his shoulder, the other going to pet again behind his ear: you're good, don't worry, you're good. all the while, he relaxes a little even in hua cheng's lap as he is, the weight of his hands a curious comfort xie lian feels foreign to. maybe he is too reassured, because a dizzy spell sweeps through him, this one softer than the one that had flooded him on the surge of hua cheng's magic. he blinks slowly before gently resting his fore head to hua cheng's shoulder, soft breaths warm and a little shallow against the bare skin.
it's not like he's uneducated in the terms of familiars and how they work, the many ways. but it has been a long time since he thought about it at all, much less the broad spectrum of manners in which these bonds can manifest and develop upon meeting. some of it is the residual and stark contrast of going from nearly no magic, to much too much, to something idling closer to the former again yet buzzing with the latter. )
Sorry...San Lang...
( he means to say that he just needs a moment, but he ends up just focusing on breathing, the hand on hua cheng's shoulder sliding down and curling affectionately around his braid, mindful of the flowers. and he has the thought again, perplexing: how familiar hua cheng feels. his presence. his voice. his scent. the still lingering taste of him that cannot be chalked up to solely a matter of being his familiar. like he's met him before, too long ago to remember.
even with the odd wave of tiredness, xie lian's whole emotional demeanor inside and out is calm, disciplinedly so. all he wants hua cheng to feel is that he is cared for and accepted. he genuinely feels other people will love him too, given the chance, but starting with xie lian himself is something. )
no subject
xie lian's sudden dizziness, though, can't help worrying him, his whole mind clearing of any thought. the initial wave of magic must've been hard to bear through: is this sudden feeling of sickness related to that, or is it because the other is once again devoid of it, now that it's swum back to hua cheng?
either way, it is entirely his fault and hua cheng sighs deeply, a frown in place. he hugs him gently to his chest, ignoring the feigning of calm. he can look past appearances and that's a gift, because xie lian is sadly too apt at hiding pain and discomfort: hua cheng would never notice them, if they didn't have this thread connecting their souls.
cradled that smaller frame in his arms, hua cheng lays down, on his side, carrying him with him. he adjusts the pillow underneath him with his nose and by dragging the corner with his teeth, like he would've done as a cat, as he keeps hugging him protectively. one hand leaves him for barely a moment just to tug the covers on top of them, fixing them especially on the older. he kisses his forehead and the bridge of his nose and his bangs. ]
Gege, I'm here with you. There's no need to pretend. [ he whispers, tone soft and warm. if only xie lian could trust him with everything he is and everything he feels. he doesn't want to be shielded from the real him. ]
Whatever you need, I can give it to you. [ he can look after him, treat him, protect him. that's what he's gathered so much power for; the sole, entire reason. ] You can rest. There's nothing to worry about. [ he mumbles in his ear, deep voice full and soft, just like those caresses that are being rubbed in his narrow back. ]
Once the sun is up, I'll still be here with you. You won't wake up alone ever again. [ it's like a lullaby, trying to soothe xie lian enough for sleep. hua cheng technically doesn't need it and so he'll watch over him.
hopefully the other's frame will be able to get used to the fluctuations of power come morning. he doesn't want to make xie lian sick anymore. ]