[ Hua Cheng observes him with the curiousity of a predator, ready to pounce and devour, and yet there's dripping fondness in his mismatched eyes. He can feel the way the other's qi makes way for his magic, like those legs parting open, the way it writhes like that frame on the sheets, the way it beckons him closer like those sweet sweet noises spilling from Xie Lian's mouth. He never thought his master could sound so beautiful in his desperate want, as much as he never thought he could crave him so much.
What shakes him out of his reverie is that drop of blood that Xie Lian accidentally draws out while forcefully trying to hold himself back. Hua Cheng gently grips his ankle and lets his leg rest against his side again, so he can lean forward, worry and overflowing tenderness on his face. He takes the hand the other was biting on and presses kisses to his palm and the inner side of his fingers, letting go only as he bends towards him. Red tongue snakes out and licks at his teeth and his lips, his magic treating the wound while he tastes the sacred bead of blood on his tongue. ]
I do not think well or badly of you, gege. Good or bad do not matter. Only your existence does. You fill my head, my heart and every part of me. You deserve my love and my worship just because you are.
[ Can he have his master understand that? That after a lifetime where his every action was weighed, analyzed, approved or scorned, the only thing that matters to Hua Cheng is Xie Lian existing? Whatever choice he may take or has taken, whatever mistake, the only important part of it is that Xie Lian has been existing to do it all. Nothing else matters to Hua Cheng.
He takes those hands clutching at the sheets and covers them in kisses, like a reminder that he needs to be gentler with himself. ] Gege, why are you fighting it? Do you dislike it? [ He wonders, voice soft and sultry, poured into his ear tempting. He knows the answer to his questions because they linger in the other's qi, in their bond. Xie Lian likes it but feels like he can't take it, he can't accept what's good to him, too used to punishment, to self-denial. But Hua Cheng will give him everything he deserves, drop after drop, until Xie Lian is filled only with pleasure and can't fight it anymore.
Like he's overheard that question that Xie Lian posed, the two of them so close and entangled with each other in all manners that his magic bleeds into him as much as Xie Lian's qi into Hua Cheng, the familiar accidentally follows another train of thought and danger flashes in his eyes. His red eye glows, his pupil looking like a dark magic array, while he licks his lips.
Others have been good to him before, especially Jun Wu --his master muses, and Hua Cheng's magic suddenly tips the scales the way it's done in the cave. Forcefully it crashes into the other's qi, holding it still while it wraps tightly around it, like a snake entangling their prey. Hua Cheng's possessiveness spikes through and he fills the distance between them, kissing Xie Lian suddenly like he wants to eat him up, sucking at his tongue, biting at his lips. ]
If gege is thinking of others it means I'm not worshipping him well enough. [ He growls huskily on his mouth, with a wicked, dangerous smile that he's never shown before. A beat and he buries his mouth right under his jaw, kissing all along the sharpness of it and then licking at the outline of his throat, along that damned shackle left by another to punish him. How could Jun Wu have been good to him when he's sealed him like that? When he's desecrated his taizi dianxia with the appearance of those shackles on holy pale skin? And yet his master still thinks of him?
Rage and jealousy mingle in a volatile mix and teeth sink in the tender flesh of his neck, in a red, obvious mark drawn above that shackle like two parties fighting for dominance over the same person. Hua Cheng licks at the outline like a wild animal, before he straightens up. He tugs his robes off, torso bare and he brings the other's hands to his mouth, kissing on his fingers and taking the first digit of his forefinger in his mouth, before he has him drape his arms around his neck and he dives in for another kiss, this time slow and deep. ]
( hua cheng feels like nothing xie lian has ever known before, nothing and no one. and likely he would be considered ungrateful and even blasphemous in his own name for daring to say the worship of hundreds or thousands in the world of ascended sorcery — prestigious, lauded, and nigh unattainable for most —, pales, flickers, and disappears in contrast to that which he experiences now. it isn't that xie lian does not believe in their sincerity, those who once claimed to love him and then, feeling betrayed, sought to desecrate any and all aspects of him in the wake of his failures. rather, it is that hua cheng worships with the purity of a devotee whose life is bound up with xie lian's. the nature of a familiar, yes, but xie lian cannot help but glimpse that repeating intuition: i do know you from before, i do.
at present, that sentiment is overwhelmed by others though, a vague and also sharp sense that contradicts itself, when he feels hua cheng respond to his thoughts, indeed get so tangled up in them that sometimes xie lian is flying across lighted nerves of hua cheng's mind and then falling back into his own. his kisses leave him gasping for air, his vision spotted black and yet he loves it. there is no mistaking, and even when hua cheng asks, he can tell that he knows and something in that makes xie lian whine high in his throat, aching. but this gets swallowed up too, and such is hua cheng's ardor that xie lian does not manage to realize the next wave of heat is because his thoughts had shifted to jun wu in due respect, until he hears his familiar's words. )
S —
( he manages even less than before, "san lang" shapeshifting into a trembling moan that lances through xie lian from the arches of his feet up every part of him, wound up and urgent as the frantic wings of a bird his heart emulates. even to explain his thoughts does not occur to him right now, though it will later, how jun wu only did as xie lian asked, because xie lian felt it was what he deserved and penance could only be penance if the punishment was true. that there is a bigger, darker set of plays at hand, does not occur to xie lian who yet trusts jun wu implicitly, even if he does not quite understand why he continues to favor him so, or check the purity of his would-be magic, had he any left. but such thoughts have been driven far away for now, regardless, all of xie lian's body and heart flooded anew with hua cheng.
when he feels his teeth press in, xie lian's face flushes with new redness, self conscious even as he arches underneath him, continuing to bare his neck like an offering even as hua cheng kisses him again instead. xie lian's legs have made easy room for him to rest close, and he even pulls his knees in at either side of hua cheng as if to encourage, or to ask, clumsy with it even as he cannot deny or hide it either. before, it was hua cheng who felt like he would burn alive if xie lian did not do something and fast, but now it is xie lian alight in a way some would call holy and others perilous. both would be correct.
xie lian's qi strokes along hua cheng's magic's core, curls like tapered fingers or a hot mouth, reacting on a carnal instinct that xie lian did not even know he had and later will feel some guilt over. again: is he taking advantage? even with hua cheng telling him it is okay, he would wonder. but he trusts him; he does.
his voice falls from swollen lips between kisses, gasping for a breath he cannot fully catch. )
Mmn..San Lang...ah...please...please...
( he doesn't know what he needs, doesn't know how to ask — a last edge of self-refusal, of excuses to not admit or beg even though he wants to — distressed by how hard he is even though he can feel something like satisfaction from hua cheng, because his worship is finally reaching him in a way that is tangible, undeniable. one of xie lian's hands slides blindly between them, fingertips grazing hua cheng's throat, his collarbone, his chest, resting low on his stomach. )
[ Hua Cheng is so used to giving (kisses, touches, even love bites), that when he receives that touch from Xie Lian, he feels the same type of heat that's taking over the older and he gets surprised by it. His master can set his muscles on fire with just the brush of his fingers, tingles under his skin, as it yearns to have more. His stomach tightens where that hand rests, but Hua Cheng completely seals his desire: he doesn't deserve to be touched by the other, doesn't deserve to receive pleasure himself. For this has never been about him and it shouldn't be.
Spurred by the other's noises, becoming more desperate every second, Hua Cheng's lips move from his mouth to his chin and then lower, kissing across his throat and then down his sternum. That's where he stopped last time, but he doesn't now. He peppers kisses over muscular pectorals, sweeps his tongue around pink nipples, suckling on them with wet, obscene noises until they bloom red. Long fingers slide along lean sides and one of them halts around his waist, while the other crawls further down, slips into the older's underpants.
Pads trace the sharp lines of a hip bone as he looks up at Xie Lian, quietly asking permission to touch more. The softness of the fabric gives away how his body has already started reacting and the knowledge that was all Hua Cheng's doing fills him with a sort of satisfaction, so thick it's wicked. He shouldn't rejoice so much about the effect of his worship, and yet he can't help it. Being able to influence in any way his master is a source of happiness and that's particularly true when it comes to pleasure. He yearns to be the only one who Xie Lian associates with feeling good, with deserving to feel good. Reward and not punishment. ]
Gege... you'll think only of me, won't you? [ He wonders husky against his chest in a puff of hot breath, his eyes flashing a cheeky expression when they glance up at the other. His magic slithers between the threads of Xie Lian's qi, fills it, entangles it, while long fingers touch along his hard length and Hua Cheng muffles a hoarse, searing hot moan against the other's fair skin. To feel pleasure through Xie Lian is even better than feeling it himself.
He wraps his hand around him and starts stroking him, entirely slow, feeling inch by inch the rub of tight flesh against his palm and his curled fingers, while red lips part onto his nipple again. He exhales against it and licks it eagerly, pupils blown so wide both his eyes look dark, thoroughly enjoying the beauty laid out for him. This is his gift to his dianxia, centuries in the making, and yet he feels like the blessed one, for being allowed to do this at all. ]
( it goes without saying that no one has ever touched him like this. perhaps more importantly, even including that treacherous garden, blood soaked and heart racing, xie lian hasn't even imagined it. the only time it might be brought to his attention was when jun wu would check the cultivation of his magic, and even then, xie lian did not think much of it, feeling it as a matter of course and not much else.
hua cheng's mouth is devastating.
xie lian's vision whites out completely at the first brush of hua cheng's tongue across a nipple, burns when he gives the same attention to the other. his body arches with borderline violence underneath him, as if trying to press himself more into that mouth, abruptly insatiable and aching and needy for more of what he would be embarrassed by if he had more coherency. any faintest graze of teeth, the purse of his lips, the heavy heat of his tongue, dizzies together and makes xie lian's mouth so dry when he cries out his voice sounds wrecked.
the faint puffs of breath that come with hua cheng's words make him jerk, and it takes xie lian so long to process what he says, by then he cannot even reply because hua cheng's long fingers short any thoughts out beyond base, physical need. it cannot be helped; it comes tangled with shame. so many years of abstinence and objective separation will not be undone in one moment. but it helps that xie lian too receives the feedback of hua cheng's pleasure wrapped in his own; like a reverberation of sound trapped in an infinite loop. )
Ha...ahh....nn...San... San Lang —
( he doesn't even know what he is trying to say. or if it's anything. the wet heat of his familiar's tongue, the strong curl of his fingers, it's too much and not enough. the way hua cheng floods him with magic perfectly shaped to fit into his qi, the shackles not triggered at all, has xie lian gasping wet desperate sounds, a line of saliva trickling from his swollen mouth, tears pricking at his eyes. it's not pain. ironically, if it was pain, xie lian might not react at all. but the inundation of pleasure is almost maddening. neither his mind nor his body quite know what to do with it. instinct to give in to hua cheng is crossed with instinct to deny himself this even at the last second. but years of trying to be strong do not necessarily mean one is strong. or is it not a question of strength? of greed? magic? human?
xie lian cannot think but later he'll flush red and think it was like being on fire and wanting to be consumed.
something in hua cheng seems to know him better than he himself does, intimate in a way that makes xie lian keen from the back of his throat, his parted legs bending just to bring his knees in to hold hua cheng between them, not that he seems to be going anywhere. one of his hands slips down clumsily to tangle in hua cheng's hair, cradling at the back of his head to keep him there. his nipples are so swollen and hard they ache but it just makes him want more, and later, over sensitive, he'll turn pink as a haitang blossom when his white rob brushes against them, making him stumble. another thing to adjust to, since hua cheng will undoubtedly feel it too.
his mind feels almost separate from his body. he doesn't understand how he can possibly want or demand more of hua cheng. again, a wave of shame for his own greed, no matter how hua cheng wants to adore and worship and reward.
all things with time though.
xie lian's fingers tighten in hua cheng's hair. it says enough, maybe, that though he lets himself arch his back again, begging, seeking for the feeling of hua cheng's mouth fully on his chest again, he presses his own hips back into the bed save for tiny jerks of motion he cannot help. the way he's bitten through his own lower lip makes him even more of a match for the red of his familiar. )
[ He's glad that Xie Lian is overwhelmed, mind only full of sensations and the entwining of their qi and magic, because were the older to think, he would instantly reject this. He can feel them, like shadows creeping at the outline of a ring of light, shame and self-denial and even reproach, trying to force Xie Lian to reject pleasure. It can't be helped, it's centuries of purest self-control and chastity, centuries of lack of desire, in whichever form and shape.
I'm here, gege, his familiar whispers in his veins, it's the two of us together, it's not taking advantage of anyone, it's not being selfish. It's simply a gift Hua Cheng wants to give him.
And yet it feels much like he's the one who's receiving it, because all these beautiful noises Xie Lian makes ring in his ears like music. Not to mention the sight of him, unraveled, undone, ruined, mouth wet and eyes full of dew. He's more stunning than anything Hua Cheng has ever seen and his mind can't help associating this image to another, Taizi Dianxia, dressed in brocade and silk, for his holy parade when he came of age. Two sides of the same coin; two sides of his devotion.
Xie Lian's body is so eager, asking for all the things his voice and mind cannot. And so Hua Cheng doesn't waste any more time. He moans hoarsely at the tug of fingers in his hair, pleasure shooting straight between his legs, as effective as a physical touch, and it dives back into Xie Lian through their connection. Gege... you feel so good..., he muses, words he wouldn't dare saying out loud for now.
With how much the older likes it, he resumes licking at his nipples, languid and slow, blows his breath on them just to see the other shiver, suckles until they become even redder and oversensitive. Xie Lian is going to be reminded of him for quite some time, with how merciless his robes are going to be, brushing against his rosebuds. His fingers smear precum over the other's length, but he doesn't free him from his pants, nor looks down, not wanting to accidentally make him uncomfortable or ashamed. He blindly touches, stroking him like he knows what he likes from a lifetime before, tight and unrelenting.
The way Xie Lian reacts is making pleasure build up in Hua Cheng as well, paired with what he feels through their bond, and he pants and softly hums against his chest, getting lazy and unfocused with the attention to his nipples. His pupils are wide and his mouth is red and swollen when he pulls back just to desperately search for the other's mouth. Bite me instead... don't hurt yourself., he pleads softly while lapping at his red lips and the drip of saliva, before he kisses him with a soft whine in the back of his throat, like he was risking to drift astray without the touch and taste of his mouth.
Their connection is a soft, sweet echo of gege and dianxia, while Hua Cheng tastes him and strokes him with urgency. He can feel the peak, so close. ]
Give it to me, gege... give it all to me. Let me feel it. [ He begs hoarsely on his swollen lips before kissing him again, a little too wet and broken, climax so close that he feels his magic melting into the other's qi, their lights superimposing as they're so close to becoming just one. ]
( that hua cheng thinks of xie lian biting himself as hurting himself is perhaps one of the sweetest and most stark differences between them. to xie lian it is second nature even if it is the barest bones of self repression. that he accepts everything nearly else that hua cheng does is, as hua cheng intuits, largely the result of being driven out of his mind.
it feels like freedom, if xie lian could remember it, could recognize the life he leads now yet a stray god but still under what he perceives as the generous thumb of jun wu, versus the life he could lead ('should', his believer might say), if.
but they aren't there yet; he's not there yet.
maybe this is enough.
it takes hua cheng phrasing it as if he is receiving for xie lian to finally let go. even moments before that: vibrating with a palpable heat, shameful whimpers bleeding out into their kisses, though xie lian neither bit himself nor hua cheng, the hand not in hua cheng's hair ended up with his own fingernails digging red crescents into the palm as if to cut himself off somehow in the midst of everything. but hua cheng's asking is as present in his wrecked voice as it is his magic, even more so, entering xie lian's qi in a way that's impossibly intimate in two ways: something carnal and foreign that makes the cry that rips out of xie lian's throat as devastated as it is wanton, as much a cry of pleasure as it is a desperation for more — like a person who has been starved for so long they forgot what it is to feel hunger but once whetted, cannot cure their need; and: something just as heartbreakingly...kind, the single trusted embrace at the end of a long, long day.
if he wasn't so dizzy and on the verge of passing out, overwrought and overwhelmed, xie lian really would be embarrassed as his body arches so violently even his feet come up off the bed, turning his head to press his face against the sheets damp with his sweat, tears, and saliva, speckles of blood on the white from his mouth. it bares the side of his neck to hua cheng like an offering, though not an obligation. his familiar or not, his believer or not, he would never want to corner him into anything, especially after so self indulgently accepting so much. he comes down slow, vaguely aware of how sticky his stomach and thighs are, the thick heaviness of hua cheng's scent and his own drowning the room in a way that makes it hard for xie lian to breathe and yet he likes it, floating in a blurred haze of afterglow which is only sullied by xie lian's own guilt and foreignness to it all. tendrils at the edges of his thoughts are in quiet panic and then he reminds himself he has no magic to pollute, no cultivation to damage.
somehow, he still feels guilty, but it's far enough beneath the waves of pleasure and the love he feels for hua cheng that it's not too present in their bond.
more obvious: are you alright? san lang? can i do anything for...for you?
xie lian speaks anxiously and adoringly all at once through their bond, unable to find his physical voice. blindly, the hand in hua cheng's hair finally slips from where it is tangled to softly caress his face, sort of petting, sort of just clearly wanting to touch. xie lian's body shivers from head to toe, still so stimulated even after release, wired in a way he cannot quite mitigate, his qi experiencing repeated ripples from hua cheng's flood of magic like it's trying to hold him inside instead of letting it all balance out again between them. )
[ What a miracle it is, to be able to see this for himself, the wonder of Xie Lian overcome by good, by pleasure, by the freedom of accepting what he wants to without any restrictions. Hua Cheng knows it'll be short-lived, he can feel the hold of panic getting closer and closer. It's his own fault, he's the one who pushed Xie Lian so far, he would gladly take any punishment for it onto himself only, but he knows his torture will be quietly observing as his master hurts himself with guilt and shame. And that always makes Hua Cheng's heart bleed more than any sort of pain he could endure.
For now, though, for now he can admire as pleasure wrecks his beautiful frame, he can feel the wave of it crashing against himself and his own body absorbing it, to the point that Hua Cheng reaches his own climax barely realizing it. There's a broken, husky noise spilt into the other's mouth, his body tightening and his underpants getting stained, and yet he only registers it in the back of his mind, with how busy observing the love of his life he is.
He peppers kisses all over the side of his face and onto that seductive neck bared all for him, and he laps softly like a cat at the holy beads of sweats. He kisses the outline of the bite mark he'd left, gentle enough to just make it tingle, before he looks up back at Xie Lian. His expression has never been so adoring, wholly sweet, the only one he sees in the whole world, his red lips curved into the softest smile. ]
You've done everything for me already. [ He whispers on his cheek, a little hoarse, sealing it with a peck. I'll take care of it, gege, he promises quietly, shifting even if their connection nearly cries at their bodies not being pressed together anymore. He gently tugs off the other's underpants, ever so light as he wipes him clean with the soft fabric before covering him with the sheets. He then gets off the bed for a moment to undress himself too, red and white fabric meeting on the floor. By the time Xie Lian is up again, those robes will be clean and dry again, hanging each in its own spot, as if nothing ever happened.
Hua Cheng slips into bed naked, cradling Xie Lian in his arms with the sheets in between. He caresses his hair and kisses his forehead and temples, trying to keep away those feelings of guilt that are burning at the edges. Large hands rub at his trembling frame, soothe muscles and soul as he holds him so close. Let it go, gege. Let it all go., he suggests softly, feeling the way he's trying to hold onto his magic, as well as his struggle against the onslaught of feelings. Only think of my kisses, he jokes with a smile that bleeds even into the lilt of his thoughts, while he presses soft kisses all over the other's beautiful features, the corners of his eyes, his damp eyelashes, he licks at his swollen lips that still taste of blood. If only he could make him forget about everything else.
Forget about the world today, it's just us. Gege and I., what else could one need with their love in his arms? Hua Cheng smiles bright, rubbing that cocoon in his embrace and kissing the most beautiful man in the world. He doesn't say it and yet as always, his side of the bond screams it no matter Hua Cheng trying to smother it: I love you I love you I love you.]
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no subject
What shakes him out of his reverie is that drop of blood that Xie Lian accidentally draws out while forcefully trying to hold himself back. Hua Cheng gently grips his ankle and lets his leg rest against his side again, so he can lean forward, worry and overflowing tenderness on his face. He takes the hand the other was biting on and presses kisses to his palm and the inner side of his fingers, letting go only as he bends towards him. Red tongue snakes out and licks at his teeth and his lips, his magic treating the wound while he tastes the sacred bead of blood on his tongue. ]
I do not think well or badly of you, gege. Good or bad do not matter. Only your existence does. You fill my head, my heart and every part of me. You deserve my love and my worship just because you are.
[ Can he have his master understand that? That after a lifetime where his every action was weighed, analyzed, approved or scorned, the only thing that matters to Hua Cheng is Xie Lian existing? Whatever choice he may take or has taken, whatever mistake, the only important part of it is that Xie Lian has been existing to do it all. Nothing else matters to Hua Cheng.
He takes those hands clutching at the sheets and covers them in kisses, like a reminder that he needs to be gentler with himself. ] Gege, why are you fighting it? Do you dislike it? [ He wonders, voice soft and sultry, poured into his ear tempting. He knows the answer to his questions because they linger in the other's qi, in their bond. Xie Lian likes it but feels like he can't take it, he can't accept what's good to him, too used to punishment, to self-denial. But Hua Cheng will give him everything he deserves, drop after drop, until Xie Lian is filled only with pleasure and can't fight it anymore.
Like he's overheard that question that Xie Lian posed, the two of them so close and entangled with each other in all manners that his magic bleeds into him as much as Xie Lian's qi into Hua Cheng, the familiar accidentally follows another train of thought and danger flashes in his eyes. His red eye glows, his pupil looking like a dark magic array, while he licks his lips.
Others have been good to him before, especially Jun Wu --his master muses, and Hua Cheng's magic suddenly tips the scales the way it's done in the cave. Forcefully it crashes into the other's qi, holding it still while it wraps tightly around it, like a snake entangling their prey. Hua Cheng's possessiveness spikes through and he fills the distance between them, kissing Xie Lian suddenly like he wants to eat him up, sucking at his tongue, biting at his lips. ]
If gege is thinking of others it means I'm not worshipping him well enough. [ He growls huskily on his mouth, with a wicked, dangerous smile that he's never shown before. A beat and he buries his mouth right under his jaw, kissing all along the sharpness of it and then licking at the outline of his throat, along that damned shackle left by another to punish him. How could Jun Wu have been good to him when he's sealed him like that? When he's desecrated his taizi dianxia with the appearance of those shackles on holy pale skin? And yet his master still thinks of him?
Rage and jealousy mingle in a volatile mix and teeth sink in the tender flesh of his neck, in a red, obvious mark drawn above that shackle like two parties fighting for dominance over the same person. Hua Cheng licks at the outline like a wild animal, before he straightens up. He tugs his robes off, torso bare and he brings the other's hands to his mouth, kissing on his fingers and taking the first digit of his forefinger in his mouth, before he has him drape his arms around his neck and he dives in for another kiss, this time slow and deep. ]
no subject
at present, that sentiment is overwhelmed by others though, a vague and also sharp sense that contradicts itself, when he feels hua cheng respond to his thoughts, indeed get so tangled up in them that sometimes xie lian is flying across lighted nerves of hua cheng's mind and then falling back into his own. his kisses leave him gasping for air, his vision spotted black and yet he loves it. there is no mistaking, and even when hua cheng asks, he can tell that he knows and something in that makes xie lian whine high in his throat, aching. but this gets swallowed up too, and such is hua cheng's ardor that xie lian does not manage to realize the next wave of heat is because his thoughts had shifted to jun wu in due respect, until he hears his familiar's words. )
S —
( he manages even less than before, "san lang" shapeshifting into a trembling moan that lances through xie lian from the arches of his feet up every part of him, wound up and urgent as the frantic wings of a bird his heart emulates. even to explain his thoughts does not occur to him right now, though it will later, how jun wu only did as xie lian asked, because xie lian felt it was what he deserved and penance could only be penance if the punishment was true. that there is a bigger, darker set of plays at hand, does not occur to xie lian who yet trusts jun wu implicitly, even if he does not quite understand why he continues to favor him so, or check the purity of his would-be magic, had he any left. but such thoughts have been driven far away for now, regardless, all of xie lian's body and heart flooded anew with hua cheng.
when he feels his teeth press in, xie lian's face flushes with new redness, self conscious even as he arches underneath him, continuing to bare his neck like an offering even as hua cheng kisses him again instead. xie lian's legs have made easy room for him to rest close, and he even pulls his knees in at either side of hua cheng as if to encourage, or to ask, clumsy with it even as he cannot deny or hide it either. before, it was hua cheng who felt like he would burn alive if xie lian did not do something and fast, but now it is xie lian alight in a way some would call holy and others perilous. both would be correct.
xie lian's qi strokes along hua cheng's magic's core, curls like tapered fingers or a hot mouth, reacting on a carnal instinct that xie lian did not even know he had and later will feel some guilt over. again: is he taking advantage? even with hua cheng telling him it is okay, he would wonder. but he trusts him; he does.
his voice falls from swollen lips between kisses, gasping for a breath he cannot fully catch. )
Mmn..San Lang...ah...please...please...
( he doesn't know what he needs, doesn't know how to ask — a last edge of self-refusal, of excuses to not admit or beg even though he wants to — distressed by how hard he is even though he can feel something like satisfaction from hua cheng, because his worship is finally reaching him in a way that is tangible, undeniable. one of xie lian's hands slides blindly between them, fingertips grazing hua cheng's throat, his collarbone, his chest, resting low on his stomach. )
no subject
Spurred by the other's noises, becoming more desperate every second, Hua Cheng's lips move from his mouth to his chin and then lower, kissing across his throat and then down his sternum. That's where he stopped last time, but he doesn't now. He peppers kisses over muscular pectorals, sweeps his tongue around pink nipples, suckling on them with wet, obscene noises until they bloom red. Long fingers slide along lean sides and one of them halts around his waist, while the other crawls further down, slips into the older's underpants.
Pads trace the sharp lines of a hip bone as he looks up at Xie Lian, quietly asking permission to touch more. The softness of the fabric gives away how his body has already started reacting and the knowledge that was all Hua Cheng's doing fills him with a sort of satisfaction, so thick it's wicked. He shouldn't rejoice so much about the effect of his worship, and yet he can't help it. Being able to influence in any way his master is a source of happiness and that's particularly true when it comes to pleasure. He yearns to be the only one who Xie Lian associates with feeling good, with deserving to feel good. Reward and not punishment. ]
Gege... you'll think only of me, won't you? [ He wonders husky against his chest in a puff of hot breath, his eyes flashing a cheeky expression when they glance up at the other. His magic slithers between the threads of Xie Lian's qi, fills it, entangles it, while long fingers touch along his hard length and Hua Cheng muffles a hoarse, searing hot moan against the other's fair skin. To feel pleasure through Xie Lian is even better than feeling it himself.
He wraps his hand around him and starts stroking him, entirely slow, feeling inch by inch the rub of tight flesh against his palm and his curled fingers, while red lips part onto his nipple again. He exhales against it and licks it eagerly, pupils blown so wide both his eyes look dark, thoroughly enjoying the beauty laid out for him. This is his gift to his dianxia, centuries in the making, and yet he feels like the blessed one, for being allowed to do this at all. ]
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hua cheng's mouth is devastating.
xie lian's vision whites out completely at the first brush of hua cheng's tongue across a nipple, burns when he gives the same attention to the other. his body arches with borderline violence underneath him, as if trying to press himself more into that mouth, abruptly insatiable and aching and needy for more of what he would be embarrassed by if he had more coherency. any faintest graze of teeth, the purse of his lips, the heavy heat of his tongue, dizzies together and makes xie lian's mouth so dry when he cries out his voice sounds wrecked.
the faint puffs of breath that come with hua cheng's words make him jerk, and it takes xie lian so long to process what he says, by then he cannot even reply because hua cheng's long fingers short any thoughts out beyond base, physical need. it cannot be helped; it comes tangled with shame. so many years of abstinence and objective separation will not be undone in one moment. but it helps that xie lian too receives the feedback of hua cheng's pleasure wrapped in his own; like a reverberation of sound trapped in an infinite loop. )
Ha...ahh....nn...San... San Lang —
( he doesn't even know what he is trying to say. or if it's anything. the wet heat of his familiar's tongue, the strong curl of his fingers, it's too much and not enough. the way hua cheng floods him with magic perfectly shaped to fit into his qi, the shackles not triggered at all, has xie lian gasping wet desperate sounds, a line of saliva trickling from his swollen mouth, tears pricking at his eyes. it's not pain. ironically, if it was pain, xie lian might not react at all. but the inundation of pleasure is almost maddening. neither his mind nor his body quite know what to do with it. instinct to give in to hua cheng is crossed with instinct to deny himself this even at the last second. but years of trying to be strong do not necessarily mean one is strong. or is it not a question of strength? of greed? magic? human?
xie lian cannot think but later he'll flush red and think it was like being on fire and wanting to be consumed.
something in hua cheng seems to know him better than he himself does, intimate in a way that makes xie lian keen from the back of his throat, his parted legs bending just to bring his knees in to hold hua cheng between them, not that he seems to be going anywhere. one of his hands slips down clumsily to tangle in hua cheng's hair, cradling at the back of his head to keep him there. his nipples are so swollen and hard they ache but it just makes him want more, and later, over sensitive, he'll turn pink as a haitang blossom when his white rob brushes against them, making him stumble. another thing to adjust to, since hua cheng will undoubtedly feel it too.
his mind feels almost separate from his body. he doesn't understand how he can possibly want or demand more of hua cheng. again, a wave of shame for his own greed, no matter how hua cheng wants to adore and worship and reward.
all things with time though.
xie lian's fingers tighten in hua cheng's hair. it says enough, maybe, that though he lets himself arch his back again, begging, seeking for the feeling of hua cheng's mouth fully on his chest again, he presses his own hips back into the bed save for tiny jerks of motion he cannot help. the way he's bitten through his own lower lip makes him even more of a match for the red of his familiar. )
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I'm here, gege, his familiar whispers in his veins, it's the two of us together, it's not taking advantage of anyone, it's not being selfish. It's simply a gift Hua Cheng wants to give him.
And yet it feels much like he's the one who's receiving it, because all these beautiful noises Xie Lian makes ring in his ears like music. Not to mention the sight of him, unraveled, undone, ruined, mouth wet and eyes full of dew. He's more stunning than anything Hua Cheng has ever seen and his mind can't help associating this image to another, Taizi Dianxia, dressed in brocade and silk, for his holy parade when he came of age. Two sides of the same coin; two sides of his devotion.
Xie Lian's body is so eager, asking for all the things his voice and mind cannot. And so Hua Cheng doesn't waste any more time. He moans hoarsely at the tug of fingers in his hair, pleasure shooting straight between his legs, as effective as a physical touch, and it dives back into Xie Lian through their connection. Gege... you feel so good..., he muses, words he wouldn't dare saying out loud for now.
With how much the older likes it, he resumes licking at his nipples, languid and slow, blows his breath on them just to see the other shiver, suckles until they become even redder and oversensitive. Xie Lian is going to be reminded of him for quite some time, with how merciless his robes are going to be, brushing against his rosebuds. His fingers smear precum over the other's length, but he doesn't free him from his pants, nor looks down, not wanting to accidentally make him uncomfortable or ashamed. He blindly touches, stroking him like he knows what he likes from a lifetime before, tight and unrelenting.
The way Xie Lian reacts is making pleasure build up in Hua Cheng as well, paired with what he feels through their bond, and he pants and softly hums against his chest, getting lazy and unfocused with the attention to his nipples. His pupils are wide and his mouth is red and swollen when he pulls back just to desperately search for the other's mouth. Bite me instead... don't hurt yourself., he pleads softly while lapping at his red lips and the drip of saliva, before he kisses him with a soft whine in the back of his throat, like he was risking to drift astray without the touch and taste of his mouth.
Their connection is a soft, sweet echo of gege and dianxia, while Hua Cheng tastes him and strokes him with urgency. He can feel the peak, so close. ]
Give it to me, gege... give it all to me. Let me feel it. [ He begs hoarsely on his swollen lips before kissing him again, a little too wet and broken, climax so close that he feels his magic melting into the other's qi, their lights superimposing as they're so close to becoming just one. ]
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it feels like freedom, if xie lian could remember it, could recognize the life he leads now yet a stray god but still under what he perceives as the generous thumb of jun wu, versus the life he could lead ('should', his believer might say), if.
but they aren't there yet; he's not there yet.
maybe this is enough.
it takes hua cheng phrasing it as if he is receiving for xie lian to finally let go. even moments before that: vibrating with a palpable heat, shameful whimpers bleeding out into their kisses, though xie lian neither bit himself nor hua cheng, the hand not in hua cheng's hair ended up with his own fingernails digging red crescents into the palm as if to cut himself off somehow in the midst of everything. but hua cheng's asking is as present in his wrecked voice as it is his magic, even more so, entering xie lian's qi in a way that's impossibly intimate in two ways: something carnal and foreign that makes the cry that rips out of xie lian's throat as devastated as it is wanton, as much a cry of pleasure as it is a desperation for more — like a person who has been starved for so long they forgot what it is to feel hunger but once whetted, cannot cure their need; and: something just as heartbreakingly...kind, the single trusted embrace at the end of a long, long day.
if he wasn't so dizzy and on the verge of passing out, overwrought and overwhelmed, xie lian really would be embarrassed as his body arches so violently even his feet come up off the bed, turning his head to press his face against the sheets damp with his sweat, tears, and saliva, speckles of blood on the white from his mouth. it bares the side of his neck to hua cheng like an offering, though not an obligation. his familiar or not, his believer or not, he would never want to corner him into anything, especially after so self indulgently accepting so much. he comes down slow, vaguely aware of how sticky his stomach and thighs are, the thick heaviness of hua cheng's scent and his own drowning the room in a way that makes it hard for xie lian to breathe and yet he likes it, floating in a blurred haze of afterglow which is only sullied by xie lian's own guilt and foreignness to it all. tendrils at the edges of his thoughts are in quiet panic and then he reminds himself he has no magic to pollute, no cultivation to damage.
somehow, he still feels guilty, but it's far enough beneath the waves of pleasure and the love he feels for hua cheng that it's not too present in their bond.
more obvious: are you alright? san lang? can i do anything for...for you?
xie lian speaks anxiously and adoringly all at once through their bond, unable to find his physical voice. blindly, the hand in hua cheng's hair finally slips from where it is tangled to softly caress his face, sort of petting, sort of just clearly wanting to touch. xie lian's body shivers from head to toe, still so stimulated even after release, wired in a way he cannot quite mitigate, his qi experiencing repeated ripples from hua cheng's flood of magic like it's trying to hold him inside instead of letting it all balance out again between them. )
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For now, though, for now he can admire as pleasure wrecks his beautiful frame, he can feel the wave of it crashing against himself and his own body absorbing it, to the point that Hua Cheng reaches his own climax barely realizing it. There's a broken, husky noise spilt into the other's mouth, his body tightening and his underpants getting stained, and yet he only registers it in the back of his mind, with how busy observing the love of his life he is.
He peppers kisses all over the side of his face and onto that seductive neck bared all for him, and he laps softly like a cat at the holy beads of sweats. He kisses the outline of the bite mark he'd left, gentle enough to just make it tingle, before he looks up back at Xie Lian. His expression has never been so adoring, wholly sweet, the only one he sees in the whole world, his red lips curved into the softest smile. ]
You've done everything for me already. [ He whispers on his cheek, a little hoarse, sealing it with a peck. I'll take care of it, gege, he promises quietly, shifting even if their connection nearly cries at their bodies not being pressed together anymore. He gently tugs off the other's underpants, ever so light as he wipes him clean with the soft fabric before covering him with the sheets. He then gets off the bed for a moment to undress himself too, red and white fabric meeting on the floor. By the time Xie Lian is up again, those robes will be clean and dry again, hanging each in its own spot, as if nothing ever happened.
Hua Cheng slips into bed naked, cradling Xie Lian in his arms with the sheets in between. He caresses his hair and kisses his forehead and temples, trying to keep away those feelings of guilt that are burning at the edges. Large hands rub at his trembling frame, soothe muscles and soul as he holds him so close. Let it go, gege. Let it all go., he suggests softly, feeling the way he's trying to hold onto his magic, as well as his struggle against the onslaught of feelings. Only think of my kisses, he jokes with a smile that bleeds even into the lilt of his thoughts, while he presses soft kisses all over the other's beautiful features, the corners of his eyes, his damp eyelashes, he licks at his swollen lips that still taste of blood. If only he could make him forget about everything else.
Forget about the world today, it's just us. Gege and I., what else could one need with their love in his arms? Hua Cheng smiles bright, rubbing that cocoon in his embrace and kissing the most beautiful man in the world. He doesn't say it and yet as always, his side of the bond screams it no matter Hua Cheng trying to smother it: I love you I love you I love you.]