[ hua cheng feels such a rush of want when xie lian starts reacting to his kisses that he feels shameful, absolutely blasphemous. his master, his god, his one and only, nestled against him, sitting on his lap, is now baring his throat for him, offering his most vulnerable spot to him, for him to do as he pleases. the wave of lust is intoxicating and, mingled with xie lian's scent filling his nose, hua cheng feels drunk. his desire is so dirty, so unworthy, and yet it's an undying flame eating him up every moment of every day. it's so strong that he cannot hide it and, for the first time, hua cheng is painfully self-conscious: he does not want xie lian to realize what it is, he's terrified of his disapproval. xie lian's study of magic was based on abstinence, after all: how disappointing would it be for his familiar to be full to the brim of what xie lian deprived himself of and never once wanted?
and yet hua cheng is a starved beast, like he was in his youth, just a stray. what taizi dianxia offered, he ravenously took. today it is no different.
that neck is bared for him and hua cheng takes, while those sounds his master makes get seared under his skin like white-hot branding marks. he feels his every nerve tingling when xie lian speaks next and he sounds wrecked, breathless --a horrible thought bubbles up in the back of hua cheng's mind, i want to make him feel so good he'll sound like this again. it's shoved back down, like an unwanted monster pushed back under the surface of a black lake.
hua cheng looks up at him with gaze dripping utmost veneration. xie lian may feel it even with his eyes closed. ]
I kissed you. [ he replies, cheeky, mouth curling into a bratty smirk. ] I kissed it better, gege. Now that I'm here nothing has to hurt anymore. [ because i'll take it all for you. he smiles with his eyes, head tilting into the easy petting and he sighs so happily, eyelashes fluttering in delight. this touch is so gentle, so yearned for, hua cheng will never get tired of it. thanks to it, he can tune out the deep pain in his neck, like fingers are sinking into his throat, trying to snap it. ]
I am. [ he reassures him, turning his head just enough to nuzzle his nose in the other's palm. his voice sounds so steady, it's impossible not to believe him. another may be writhing right now, in his place. but hua cheng got used to degrees of pure, raw suffering that others would not feel in a lifetime. and, anyway, this pain is worth it, for it means his master instead will be safe. that alone is enough.
he can feel his magic flooding his own body back, like the tide is receding from xie lian's frame, and he welcomes it back, since it means the pressure against the other's shackles will loosen and he'll be safer. he can feel how dizzy that's leaving him, though, so he opts for lying back down, tugging xie lian along.
he has him draped on top of his chest, so that his cool skin will dissipate some of that feverish heat, one arm around his tiny waist, his opposite hand stroking his hair. ] I'm sorry... I couldn't stop my magic from filling you. It belongs to you as much as I do. [ he speaks softly, voice a caress as much as his fingers. he presses his lips to his forehead, a frown creasing his eyebrows. what if he's made him sick? the thought makes his whole chest tighten and ache. ] I was lacking, please punish me.
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and yet hua cheng is a starved beast, like he was in his youth, just a stray. what taizi dianxia offered, he ravenously took. today it is no different.
that neck is bared for him and hua cheng takes, while those sounds his master makes get seared under his skin like white-hot branding marks. he feels his every nerve tingling when xie lian speaks next and he sounds wrecked, breathless --a horrible thought bubbles up in the back of hua cheng's mind, i want to make him feel so good he'll sound like this again. it's shoved back down, like an unwanted monster pushed back under the surface of a black lake.
hua cheng looks up at him with gaze dripping utmost veneration. xie lian may feel it even with his eyes closed. ]
I kissed you. [ he replies, cheeky, mouth curling into a bratty smirk. ] I kissed it better, gege. Now that I'm here nothing has to hurt anymore. [ because i'll take it all for you. he smiles with his eyes, head tilting into the easy petting and he sighs so happily, eyelashes fluttering in delight. this touch is so gentle, so yearned for, hua cheng will never get tired of it. thanks to it, he can tune out the deep pain in his neck, like fingers are sinking into his throat, trying to snap it. ]
I am. [ he reassures him, turning his head just enough to nuzzle his nose in the other's palm. his voice sounds so steady, it's impossible not to believe him. another may be writhing right now, in his place. but hua cheng got used to degrees of pure, raw suffering that others would not feel in a lifetime. and, anyway, this pain is worth it, for it means his master instead will be safe. that alone is enough.
he can feel his magic flooding his own body back, like the tide is receding from xie lian's frame, and he welcomes it back, since it means the pressure against the other's shackles will loosen and he'll be safer. he can feel how dizzy that's leaving him, though, so he opts for lying back down, tugging xie lian along.
he has him draped on top of his chest, so that his cool skin will dissipate some of that feverish heat, one arm around his tiny waist, his opposite hand stroking his hair. ] I'm sorry... I couldn't stop my magic from filling you. It belongs to you as much as I do. [ he speaks softly, voice a caress as much as his fingers. he presses his lips to his forehead, a frown creasing his eyebrows. what if he's made him sick? the thought makes his whole chest tighten and ache. ] I was lacking, please punish me.