[ They're suddenly so close that their bond sighs deeply in relief. The more Xie Lian's gentle fingers try to rub warmth into Hua Cheng's, the more their connection rejuvenates, like a plant getting watered after drying out in the harsh sun. Hua Cheng tries not to think of their entwined hands while they were kissing on the other's bed, but controlling his thoughts about his better half is starting to become difficult. Especially so when at the limits of his gaze there are the older's white robes, becoming nearly see-through because of rain, and his loosened neck bandages, showing the fading bruise of his love bite. His chest aches and so his heart.
Hua Cheng breathes out shakily when he feels that familiar qi caress him gently: he hadn't been touched by it ever since it eagerly welcomed his power, that day. His magic ripples, but Hua Cheng's sheer will pushes it back down, almost bowing to the other's qi. Xie Lian could find it unbearable, to be touched by his magic again, could find it dirty.
There's a devil in the back of his mind, who dares scoffing at Xie Lian's words, who dares whispering about what he says doesn't match what he does. Hua Cheng is confused. He thought he was meant to serve, after he had been rejected so obviously. If that is taken from him too, what can he do? He tilts his head, long damp locks following the motion and slipping off his shoulder, raindrops running down his cheeks and chin, like the tears he's unable to shed.
It is that pained confusion that meets the radiant light of the other's smile and his magic surges through him in a sudden wave at the sight of it. It floods him with relief. He trembles violently when qi embraces him, unable to control the way his magic leans into it, daring to touch it back, like two palms, two foreheads resting together. ]
Gege... [ He whispers oh so quiet while tilting his head into his hand, basking into his touch like a cat. He closes his eyes and acts merely on instinct when he presses a peck to his palm, only to realize belatedly and stiffen, timid gaze searching for the other's disgust in hazel eyes. He doesn't hold it for more than a second, looking down soon after. ]
We were equals that day, in each other's arms. There was no serving. I didn't give and dianxia didn't take; we exchanged. [ It takes little imagination to understand what he's talking about, voice jagged like a shard. ] But dianxia was understandably displeased with me. I am unworthy and forgot myself by trying and being dianxia's equal. I can only serve. [ His master has always been too good to him that Hua Cheng forgot his place. What a horrible mistake, he's ruined everything.
Hua Cheng suddenly drops on his knees, like the masked person from a long time ago. Back straight like a soldier's and hands on his thighs, he is in the same pose as the ones who take their own life for honor out of the battlefields. ] I can't accept dianxia serving me, that would be blasphemous. There's only one person you should serve and that's yourself. [ Not even Junwu, his words imply --he's the least worthy, but he cannot mention it, for maybe part of the other's unhappiness with him stems also from the way he dared shooing thoughts of the beloved and revered sorcerer out of Xie Lian's mind. ]
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Hua Cheng breathes out shakily when he feels that familiar qi caress him gently: he hadn't been touched by it ever since it eagerly welcomed his power, that day. His magic ripples, but Hua Cheng's sheer will pushes it back down, almost bowing to the other's qi. Xie Lian could find it unbearable, to be touched by his magic again, could find it dirty.
There's a devil in the back of his mind, who dares scoffing at Xie Lian's words, who dares whispering about what he says doesn't match what he does. Hua Cheng is confused. He thought he was meant to serve, after he had been rejected so obviously. If that is taken from him too, what can he do? He tilts his head, long damp locks following the motion and slipping off his shoulder, raindrops running down his cheeks and chin, like the tears he's unable to shed.
It is that pained confusion that meets the radiant light of the other's smile and his magic surges through him in a sudden wave at the sight of it. It floods him with relief. He trembles violently when qi embraces him, unable to control the way his magic leans into it, daring to touch it back, like two palms, two foreheads resting together. ]
Gege... [ He whispers oh so quiet while tilting his head into his hand, basking into his touch like a cat. He closes his eyes and acts merely on instinct when he presses a peck to his palm, only to realize belatedly and stiffen, timid gaze searching for the other's disgust in hazel eyes. He doesn't hold it for more than a second, looking down soon after. ]
We were equals that day, in each other's arms. There was no serving. I didn't give and dianxia didn't take; we exchanged. [ It takes little imagination to understand what he's talking about, voice jagged like a shard. ] But dianxia was understandably displeased with me. I am unworthy and forgot myself by trying and being dianxia's equal. I can only serve. [ His master has always been too good to him that Hua Cheng forgot his place. What a horrible mistake, he's ruined everything.
Hua Cheng suddenly drops on his knees, like the masked person from a long time ago. Back straight like a soldier's and hands on his thighs, he is in the same pose as the ones who take their own life for honor out of the battlefields. ] I can't accept dianxia serving me, that would be blasphemous. There's only one person you should serve and that's yourself. [ Not even Junwu, his words imply --he's the least worthy, but he cannot mention it, for maybe part of the other's unhappiness with him stems also from the way he dared shooing thoughts of the beloved and revered sorcerer out of Xie Lian's mind. ]