[ Hua Cheng is in a complete daze, more a beast than a man right now. He perceives what's around him. He can still feel pleasure and belonging when he's touched by Xie Lian, but when his eyes lay on him, it's like Hua Cheng isn't there anymore. As if this body of his has turned into a cage and Hua Cheng is trapped deep inside, somewhere, experiencing once again the acute pain of getting burnt as he tries to douse the flames in one of Xie Lian's temples, being trapped behind the black bars of helplessness.
He looks at Xie Lian and doesn't understand where they are or what the other is saying to him anymore. ]
I'm sorry... I'm sorry, I tried, but I wasn't strong enough. I let you down. I couldn't protect you. [ His expression is deeply pained as he looks at his master, eyebrows furrowed deeply, eyes both monstruous and deeply human with how overflowing with sorrow they are. He is apologizing to Xie Lian like he did often in his dreams, plagued by guilt as nothing of the cult of him remained, as those blasphemous statues were made instead.
He starts shaking his head, more and more frantic every moment that passes. ] You shouldn't have had to see that... if only I'd had more power, you wouldn't have. [ If only he'd managed to destroy all those monstrosities before Xie Lian had to set eyes on them, if only he'd managed to save him some heartache.
The blood that's crawled at their feet dances as drops in the air, reaching Hua Cheng's long fingers, staining his fingertips, before it drops again when the familiar's attention is caught by the way his face is touched so firmly and Xie Lian steps back. Their bond reassures him it's just temporary and so he simply observes him, like one looks at a mirage, in awe and confused at once, not quite in touch with reality.
Then his gaze shifts to the statue. It's barely a moment and that familiar outline cracks and disappears into a pile of dust. Hua Cheng makes the pained noise of a wounded animal, his chest constricting, the knowledge that anything that has the looks of his master has to be destroyed bringing him pain no matter what.
That's when he starts waking up, blinking more rapidly, noises getting into his ears again, the quaking, the way his power is expanding like the shadows of an eclipse. Hua Cheng tries making a step and his knees give in entirely. He finds himself kneeling on the ground not unlike the statue did before. He touches his face, stained fingers drawing lines on his cheeks like bloodied tears, before he wipes his hands on his garment.
The quaking stills at once and the tendrils of his power grow much thinner and paler, only reaching for Xie Lian, in a desperate call for him to get closer again. ]
Dianxia... [ He calls, raspy and strained, and he stretches his arms out, forlorn. He needs to embrace and be embraced. He needs to hold him tight and be reassured that he's still here, no matter Hua Cheng's endless failures at keeping him safe. ] It is not true you haven't had believers in a long time... You have me.
I'm your most devoted believer and I always will be, till the end of time. [ Articulating words nearly pains him, as he breathes with difficulty, his power struggling within him with his feelings, wrestling with anger and desperation that want to push it out again, want to destroy everything around him. He's fighting harshly to regain some composure, it must be embarrassingly clear through their connection, most likely. But shame will be for another time: right now, he needs to pull himself together again. ]
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He looks at Xie Lian and doesn't understand where they are or what the other is saying to him anymore. ]
I'm sorry... I'm sorry, I tried, but I wasn't strong enough. I let you down. I couldn't protect you. [ His expression is deeply pained as he looks at his master, eyebrows furrowed deeply, eyes both monstruous and deeply human with how overflowing with sorrow they are. He is apologizing to Xie Lian like he did often in his dreams, plagued by guilt as nothing of the cult of him remained, as those blasphemous statues were made instead.
He starts shaking his head, more and more frantic every moment that passes. ] You shouldn't have had to see that... if only I'd had more power, you wouldn't have. [ If only he'd managed to destroy all those monstrosities before Xie Lian had to set eyes on them, if only he'd managed to save him some heartache.
The blood that's crawled at their feet dances as drops in the air, reaching Hua Cheng's long fingers, staining his fingertips, before it drops again when the familiar's attention is caught by the way his face is touched so firmly and Xie Lian steps back. Their bond reassures him it's just temporary and so he simply observes him, like one looks at a mirage, in awe and confused at once, not quite in touch with reality.
Then his gaze shifts to the statue. It's barely a moment and that familiar outline cracks and disappears into a pile of dust. Hua Cheng makes the pained noise of a wounded animal, his chest constricting, the knowledge that anything that has the looks of his master has to be destroyed bringing him pain no matter what.
That's when he starts waking up, blinking more rapidly, noises getting into his ears again, the quaking, the way his power is expanding like the shadows of an eclipse. Hua Cheng tries making a step and his knees give in entirely. He finds himself kneeling on the ground not unlike the statue did before. He touches his face, stained fingers drawing lines on his cheeks like bloodied tears, before he wipes his hands on his garment.
The quaking stills at once and the tendrils of his power grow much thinner and paler, only reaching for Xie Lian, in a desperate call for him to get closer again. ]
Dianxia... [ He calls, raspy and strained, and he stretches his arms out, forlorn. He needs to embrace and be embraced. He needs to hold him tight and be reassured that he's still here, no matter Hua Cheng's endless failures at keeping him safe. ] It is not true you haven't had believers in a long time... You have me.
I'm your most devoted believer and I always will be, till the end of time. [ Articulating words nearly pains him, as he breathes with difficulty, his power struggling within him with his feelings, wrestling with anger and desperation that want to push it out again, want to destroy everything around him. He's fighting harshly to regain some composure, it must be embarrassingly clear through their connection, most likely. But shame will be for another time: right now, he needs to pull himself together again. ]